“Good” mourning
Isn’t that title an oxymoron, also possibly offensive? Yes,
I suppose it could be perceived this way but I truly believe good can come form
mourning.
In recent months, myself and some close to me, have had many
reasons to mourn. I have mourned for my friends and their struggles and they
have mourned for me and mine as well. There are lots of things one can mourn
for, the passing of youth (you bet I’m mourning that), the growing up of our
children, the loss of blissful ignorance (I am dealing with this as well in my
eating habits!) and the loss of someone close to us.
Currently, I am mourning the loss of a beautiful dream I have
had, since bringing Jojen home, of competing in all manner of dog sports with
him. There were no limits in my imagination to all we could do together.
Then…puppy strangles, then…a broken wrist, then…abdominal surgery,
then…constant lameness on his previously broken leg, then…a grade three
luxating patella; the last two of which will require surgery. He is 11 months
old and already has a good amount of arthritis in the elbow of his previously
broken leg. He is scheduled to have his knee surgically repaired next week. The
elbow will be next, once the coffers have been replenished. I have sadly, but
with a twinge of optimism, resigned myself to the fact that agility competition
is probably out of our future. I love it and he loves it but the amount of pain
it could cause him is not worth it to me. There are other sports that require
less physicality but still require precision training and fun and I will try to
focus on those. Rally Obedience is one as is the new sport of Rally FrEe. I
still plan on getting his trick dog titles and perhaps even being able to do
some freestyle routines and drill team routines.
My lesson in all this rests in his little red body that
harbors no resentment, no sadness and no blame. He loves life still, even
limping on two legs, he takes it all in and never lets it get him down. That is
where my “good” mourning comes from.